Fake Nudity

Magazines like King and Maxim have managed to irritate the hell out of me through their insistence on portraying fake nudity. and by Fake nudity, I'm not talking about chicks in bikini's or tight clothes...I'm talking about the quintessential, "I'm naked, but I'm going to cover up my boobs with this bed sheet, robe or my elbows. There is nothing more irritating than fake magazine nudity...and the reason is not just because i don't get to see the boobs. The most irritating thing about fake nudity is the thought that the reader or "picture looker" is willing to buy the fact that the photographer just stumbled upon this beautiful woman as she was getting dressed...and she quickly covered her self up. either that or we are supposed to feel teased by the model or fake model, as she strips for us. BUT if there is never a full boob flash, it's not a tease...it's a piss off.

Perhaps the only thing that is more of a piss off than magazine fake nudity is movie fake nudity. It happens in almost every action movie these days. The post sex scene when the woman wakes up and conveniently pulls the sheet up and wraps it around her body to cover her boobs. So I'm supposed to believe that you just banged some action movie tough guy cliche, and not only are you still around in the morning, but you are too embarrassed for this guy to see you fully nude. WTF? THis is absolutely ridiculous! If you are an actress who is not willing, or "too good" to be fully nude in the movie, then DON'T DO IT. And to all the filmmakers out there...if you have an actress who is not willing to get fully naked, or you are trying to make a certain content rating...then DO NOT DO IT!!! A half-assed sex scene does not make a boring movie more interesting or a sh*tty movie less sh*tty.

Here is some video from a Fake Nudity photo shoot. They even went as far as to give the chick pasties. WHY the hell are the pasties necessary if you are doing a fake naked photo shoot. is that to protect the boobs from the photographers? That is even more ridiculous than the fake naked pictures.



Fake Nudity is like eating a piece of bread, while looking at a picture of a burger...sure your mind is thinking about how that wonderful looking burger might look, i mean taste is real life, but the reality is that you are STILL eating a plain piece of bread, with no burger, no lettuce, no pickles, or anything else. just a piece of bread. So with that said. Fake nudity has got to stop. a tight t-shirt or lingerie is a lot more pleasing and sexy to look at in a generic men's magazine than elbow boobs.